so my vision is so variable I feel like a fraud talking about it because the nex tmoment it is different. I got a new CSR in my left eye blocking some of the vision which totally reformed my life for a few weeks. Utter panic induced things. I made more space for myself and it felt really amazing. Now I feel like as my vision evens out a bit, although CSR patches stll very present I can see around and under them enough to create a picture. Adequate. But is that good enough. Sometimes. Other times I have a big secret.
A day with pockets of intense grief triggered by…some socks in drawer….a photograph. Doubled over with it. Outside in some allotments later a deep clean held clarity watching my children play. Such intense joy. This is what feels taboo and deeply private. That joy.
I don’t have that today, feel like I am creeping further and further away from myself in a dangerous manner. Going through the motions. Expression so needed. Getting rest just not enough.
2realeyes 